I said my goodbyes, promised to stay in touch, without really understanding what I was going to leave behind, and left.
I walked into a world where I could dream, explore and maybe ignore my apprehensions, those demons that drove my dark side. There was more on the other side. A side without emptiness, that ruled my life. I realized slowly that I had to rebuild myself, rewire my brain and, possibly, even rewrite my destiny. Clearly, this wasn't planned in the most meticulous way. I was not prepared, not that I'm any better now. Just saying. Then there were these people. Two questions that recurred in my head were "Where do they come from?" and "How do they do it?". How they walked with elan, their off-the-bat-creepy appearances notwithstanding, and talked like they owned the crowd around them - yes, there was one, always. How their little idea could strike a fight, melt hearts and even change the world. This is exactly what I needed. People so sure of themselves that they made me feel like a complete idiot unsure of himself at any point whatsoever. After the initial grand confidence breaker, I started wondering. What is it going to be now? And then it struck me, like a canon ball, slow and unassuming. I have a story to tell. I have a reason to be here. I am what I am, slow to observe, quick to judge and quicker to speak. An alien in a world of super-evolved humans, seeking to find a place in their intellectual space. But I shall not quit. At this point, I thought of a song titled "Hours of Wealth" by Opeth.
Found a way to rid myself clean of pain
And the fever that's been haunting me
Has gone away
Looking through my window
I seem to recognize
All the people passing by
But I am alone
And far from home
And nobody knows me
Never heard me say goodbye
Never shall I speak to anyone again
All days are in darkness
And I'm biding my time
Once I am sure of my task I will rise again
Thus I wondered. I had a long and winding road ahead. I needed sleep.
I walked into a world where I could dream, explore and maybe ignore my apprehensions, those demons that drove my dark side. There was more on the other side. A side without emptiness, that ruled my life. I realized slowly that I had to rebuild myself, rewire my brain and, possibly, even rewrite my destiny. Clearly, this wasn't planned in the most meticulous way. I was not prepared, not that I'm any better now. Just saying. Then there were these people. Two questions that recurred in my head were "Where do they come from?" and "How do they do it?". How they walked with elan, their off-the-bat-creepy appearances notwithstanding, and talked like they owned the crowd around them - yes, there was one, always. How their little idea could strike a fight, melt hearts and even change the world. This is exactly what I needed. People so sure of themselves that they made me feel like a complete idiot unsure of himself at any point whatsoever. After the initial grand confidence breaker, I started wondering. What is it going to be now? And then it struck me, like a canon ball, slow and unassuming. I have a story to tell. I have a reason to be here. I am what I am, slow to observe, quick to judge and quicker to speak. An alien in a world of super-evolved humans, seeking to find a place in their intellectual space. But I shall not quit. At this point, I thought of a song titled "Hours of Wealth" by Opeth.
Found a way to rid myself clean of pain
And the fever that's been haunting me
Has gone away
Looking through my window
I seem to recognize
All the people passing by
But I am alone
And far from home
And nobody knows me
Never heard me say goodbye
Never shall I speak to anyone again
All days are in darkness
And I'm biding my time
Once I am sure of my task I will rise again
Thus I wondered. I had a long and winding road ahead. I needed sleep.
